Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Listen. I am not an overly precious person. I am generally unbothered by reboots and revivals, and I don’t really care about my favorite franchises being “ruined” (looking at you, Star Wars fanboys). All that said, I will absolutely, positively never watch the Sex and the City movies. Do I sound dramatic? Probably. But this is for good reason. It will probably not surprise you to know that I was much too young to watch the Sex and the City series when it was on the air, so it wasn’t until last year that I finally watched the show in its entirety. A few minor quibbles with poorly-aged bits aside, I fell head over heels in love with it, angry with myself for having put off watching it for so long. I wasn’t even bothered by the neatly-wrapped-up ending the way many others were. Would Carrie have been better off without Big? Maybe. But I still loved the way it all came together, and the way we bid farewell to these characters. So why do anything to backpedal on this ending? On the film’s 10-year anniversary, I am here to tell you why I just can’t bring myself to watch these movies.
When I first finished watching the series, I couldn’t help but wonder… should I immediately watch the first Sex and the City movie? I needed more! Now! What had Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda gotten up to since we last saw them? How had these fabulous friends changed since bidding farewell to HBO? But then came the bombshell, the news that shook my little Miranda-and-Steve loving heart. Steve cheats on Miranda in the movie. HE CHEATS ON HER?! After all this back and forth and agony of waiting for them to finally realize they were right for each other, he strays? Listen, I am a realist, so I understand that relationships get rocky, and infidelity is a thing. But to tarnish one of the show’s best couples? That’s unforgivable to me.
The Steve-and-Miranda snafu is not the only reason I’m so anti-SATC movies. Call me oversensitive, but I don’t want to see these characters go through any more pain than they already have. They’ve suffered in this city! They’ve had their hearts broken in this city! And yes, they’ve had sex in this city! I don’t need to see any more strife in this city after these six seasons. Let Carrie and Big work on their stuff out of my sight (and even break up! I don’t care!), let Steve and Miranda live that hip Brooklyn family life, let Samantha heal and thrive, let Charlotte get the baby she always wanted. Let me picture the ladies drinking Cosmos until they can’t handle more than one round anymore!
I’ll never watch the Sex and the City movies because I want to imagine these characters just as we left them, continuing their lives in Manhattan and Brooklyn and wherever else their stories take them. I want to think that some things can conclude this simply, because Sex and the City is fiction, and we rarely get the chance to see all these things work out in happily-ever-after fashion in real life. You can try to convince me of the movies’ merits all you want, but they remain a distant entity, a non-canon addition to the Sex and the City universe. I won’t judge you for watching them, but I will continue to abstain. I’m a firm believer in there being too much of a good thing (and letting those good things die). I buried Sex and the City with its TV conclusion, and gave it the fabulous funeral it deserved – and I will not be judged by you or society for it.
