(Spoilers lurk below.)

“The Quarterback” contained a lot of references to Glee‘s first season, something treated almost as sacred by the legions of Glee fans. Back then, it was the little show that could, despite being so bizarre that even the producers were sure it would be canceled after thirteen episodes (seriously, try to watch “Sectionals” and tell me that wasn’t meant as a series finale). It was dark and edgy and it was sometimes downright cruel. The references to that season in “The Quarterback” were well-chosen and they were appropriate, both because Finn’s tribute episode revived the darkness that permeated season one and because a lot of the defining moments in Finn’s life happened back there. However, when you get right down to it, a lot of season one just seems misguided and lost next to the later successes of season two and even the better episodes of seasons three and four, when the show finally found its voice. This means that going back to season one for source material is problematic, because it can create a disconnect. Sometimes it works, as with Shelby’s reappearance in season three and the aforementioned “Quarterback.” And sometimes… well, that brings us to this week’s episode: “Theatricality 2: Electric Boogaloo” … er, I mean “A Katy or a Gaga.”

“Theatricality,” for those who may have forgotten, was an episode in the back nine of season one that served as a Lady Gaga tribute. It featured outright adulation of Lady Gaga, outlandish costumes bizarrely worn in public, identity crises, and performances so overproduced that even Kurt was probably thinking “tone it down!” Sounds familiar? “Theatricality” remains perhaps my least favorite episode of the series, so to see an episode blatantly lifting plot and style elements from it here in season five is not at all amusing. One could argue that the similarities between the two episodes are superficial: I’d argue that that’s part of the problem. Both episodes are largely superficial, despite thinking that they have something important to say and saying it with a bludgeon.

The titular dichotomy between Katy Perry and Lady Gaga arises from the club’s terror at having to face the latest double-entendre-named force to be reckoned with on the show choir circuit: Throat Explosion. This is one of the groups the club will have to face at nationals (and what’s with the list of three clubs at nationals? Both prior nationals episodes implied more like dozens of competitors), and, unlike the workmanlike robots of Vocal Adenaline, they are creative, theatrical, and viewed as outsiders — something that the New Directions prefer to view as their niche. They are compared to well-known music goddess and possible savior of mankind Lady Gaga, with the “opposite” of Lady Gaga being established as Katy Perry. Will asks which students view themselves as being “Gagas,” and takes for granted that the ones who don’t raise their hands are therefore “Katies.” Ryder’s legitimate question about whether or not there is a third option is ignored. Will then assigns the Katies to do a Gaga number and the Gagas to do a Katy number, in order to… I don’t know.

As I look over this whole plot, I struggle not just get invested in it, but to find the point of it. I’m reminded of the moment in “Theatricality” when, near the end of the episode, the kids ask Will what the lesson was, and he says that he doesn’t know (though in reality, “Theatricality” actually does have a pretty clear message). I get a similar vibe here, with Will pulling a lesson out of his ass without really knowing why he’s doing it. Is the message to be yourself? Is it to expand your interests? Is it to challenge your limitations? Is it that weird inappropriate costumes really seem to piss Sue off? Let’s review the actual results of this whole fiasco:

1. Sam tries to appeal to Penny’s “edgy” taste in music by inviting her to his Gaga number, and she doesn’t like it. They both realize that they are actually Katies and start making out. The lesson seems to be to be yourself.

2. Marley refuses to go along with her part in the Gaga number because she isn’t comfortable with it. Instead of wearing the “seashell bikini” that Sam assigned her, she dresses up like Katy Perry with a pink wig. Will, intent on retaining his title as biggest dick on TV, suspends her for a week, on the spot and in front of everyone, for daring to not put her body on display as a part of a stupid competition despite knowing about her struggle with bulimia and ongoing body image problems. In the meantime, Jake cheats on Marley with Bree because Marley isn’t willing to let him touch her boobs. The lesson seems to be to challenge your limitations, because being yourself just gets you shat on by life — or at least by your shitty boyfriend and asshole teacher.

3. Sue suspends the entire club for a week for wearing those costumes to school, because the area of cracking down on dress code violations was clearly where Figgins failed as an administrator. The kids respond defiantly by performing “Roar,” a slap at Sue and statement of strength that comes across as a pale imitation of season two’s “Loser Like Me,” by far their best original song. I don’t even know what the lesson here is, except that Sue is back to being firmly established as the villain. Whoop-de-doo.

This was a lost, confused plot for the most part, a tired take on the interclub competition bit that has been done better so many times before and a blatant self-cannibalism of their style in “Theatricality,” with as muddled a message as the series has ever had. The best bits were the arguments among the Gagas about their Katy number, which were honestly pretty funny. “I tried breaking into the zoo to get us live tigers. Plot twist: Lima doesn’t have a zoo! Why’d we think it does?”

Meanwhile, in the B plot, Kurt has decided to start a band, and the first thing he apparently needs is as many singers as possible (you’re not a band if you don’t play instruments, Kurt). He gets Santana and Dani on board (and Dani actually does play guitar, as previously established), and Rachel is convinced to join later after she suggests the band name Pamela Lansbury, which Kurt immediately latches onto (despite the objective best choice being Santana’s first suggestion: the Apocalypsticks). He holds open auditions for the rest of the group, but the only person to show up is Elliott “Starchild” Gilbert (Adam Lambert), whose amazing costume and somehow overproduced performance feel threatening to Kurt, who takes a while to decide to accept him into the group. I had trouble identifying with Kurt’s feelings of failure, though I did understand his fourth-wall-tapping concern about being the funny gay sidekick instead of a main character in his own life. It was also hard to fathom why Elliot was so keen on getting into Kurt’s loser four-singer one-guitarist/singer band considering his obvious talents, but it’s true that New York is a tough town.

This subplot was entertaining mainly for Adam Lambert’s performance, though he got limited screen time. I’m sure we’ll see more of Elliot in the future, though. He certainly has much more promise than Adam (the character) did as a new addition to Kurt’s circle of friends and a possible love interest.

All things considered, this was not a great way to end the hiatus.

Musically, this episode was surprisingly lean, as well as surprisingly dull. You can say what you want about “Theatricality,” but it had “Bad Romance,” and the performances in “A Katy or a Gaga” were not up to that level. The highlight was most likely Elliot’s “Marry the Night,” which was fun and had enough energy to power Pittsburgh for a week. It was also at least as entertaining for Santana’s mesmerized reaction as it was for the performance. “Applause” was also fun in the same way that season one’s “Run Joey Run” was: it was just so self-consciously terrible and pretentious. And watching Will’s reaction was also really amusing. All the shit he’s seen, and he’s never been more disgusted by anything than Marley’s costume. “Wide Awake” was okay, but seeing Tina singing a mellow song while sitting on a stool brought to mind season one’s “True Colors,” which was superior in every way, especially thematically. “Roar” was good, but, like much of the episode, felt like rehash of stuff they’ve done before.

Other thoughts:

I know I mentioned this twice already, but I can’t get over what a giant douchebag Will was to Marley in this episode. He should be suspended for that shit.

I agree with Sue and Becky about how annoying the whole “Katy/Gaga” thing was. That’s just what high school kids need, more labels.

Jake and Marley seem to have become the old married couple of the group. Their relationship here, with Jake seemingly feeling bored and trapped, reminds me of Finn and Rachel in season one’s “Hell-O,” right before Finn broke up with her. And then Jake has sex with Bree, much like Finn had sex with Santana in season one’s “The Power of Madonna.” And neither of those things were all that original back then either. Somebody send the Glee writers some ideas quick, or I’m just going to start slightly-rewriting my old reviews for publication too.

Penny and Sam don’t really have any chemistry together, and it was just horrible writing when Penny just flat-out started explaining who she is right before she and Sam started locking lips.

Sue makes a crack about the glee club doing a lot of Journey songs… a reuse of a gag they made in season two’s “The Substitute,” where it was much funnier.

Penny’s assessment of the Gaga performance: “I really liked the part where the girl got suspended.”

I apologize for not posting that thing I said I’d post during the hiatus. I got distracted. I’ll get to it eventually, though maybe not until the offseason at this rate.