Glee season finale recap: Regionals

It isn’t often that the singing competitions are upstaged on Glee, but that’s exactly what happened last night at Regionals for McKinley High when — in the first few moments of the show – Rachel Berry had her big, final Funny Girl Broadway callback. Sung: I hope she gets it! I hope she gets it! How many seasons will it take? We didn’t find out if Rachel snagged Fanny Bryce (but based on her cover of Celine Dion, I think she’s got herself a chance!), but plenty of other situations were resolved last night, including Ryder’s Catfish drama and Brittany’s post-high school plans. Spoiler alert: Hellloooo, MIT.

The episode kicked off with secret genius Brittany meeting with some administrators at MIT. They informed her that they weren’t quite sure what to make of her: Her crazy-high test scores but 0.2 GPA were hard for them to puzzle out (and they’re supposed to be smart!) They informed her that while she’d failed to answer any of the test questions properly, her crayon number doodle on the back of the test was actually brilliant. They dubbed the string of numbers “The Brittany Code” and confirmed that it may be “the most significant breakthrough of the 21st century.” The most significant breakthrough was Psy coming to America, but regardless, they want Brittany to come to MIT. Immediately.

She’s not sure what to do so, without telling anyone about her MIT meeting, she begins acting out both in Glee club and with coach Roz. No one can figure out why she’s so serious, so Sue (back and not forgotten!) and Will sit down with her for a very special Fondue for Two – which is never a bad addition to a Glee episode – and explain that they’re concerned. Brittany fires back with cutting remarks for Will and a rather scientific deduction that Sue’s baby’s father is actually singer Michael Bolton, a fact Sue confirms. Brittany presents her with a timeline, but the only timeline I want to see is time between Sue watching Lonely Island videos and calling up Bolton. “Captain Jack Sparrow” – it’s clearly sexier than you remember.

NEXT: Santana comes to Lima and Ryder wants answers

Once that intervention is deemed an epic failure, Sam gets involved and calls up Santana in New York. After confirming that the weirdness isn’t just Britney 3.0 (which, real talk, would be what exactly? Brittany as an X-Factor judge? Great Lord Tubbington, please make it happen!) Because there are real issues, Santana took a midnight train to Lima to help Brittany. Brittany tries to take the easy way out and have the convo on Fondue for Two, but Santana shuts that down, both literally and figuratively. After an off-camera discussion with her ex, backstage at Regionals Brittany drops the MIT bombshell to the club. Through tears, she discusses how much Glee club has meant to her, and the special place in her heart for all the members (Even you, John Joe). She’s leaving Lima immediately, which I imagine is a convenient way to get pregnant Heather Morris out of the show for a bit (but hopefully not forever!)

Brittany wasn’t the only one dealing with drama in Lima. Ryder has had it with the Catfishing, which he naturally namechecks a few times. He got real rage-y at a Glee club rehearsal, yelling and pushing things around. He threatened to quit the club unless whoever the secret person was ‘fessed up and – shocker of shocks – Marley confessed. DO NOT ACCEPT! I helpfully yelled at my television. Marley’s tearful confession didn’t add up – it’s simply too cruel a “trick,” as she described it, to play on someone whom you knew has feelings for you. For a second, I thought Marley was going to also confess real feelings for Ryder, but that’s a plotline for another time.

Instead, we got a soap-y twist, albeit one many of you called. Marley wasn’t the catfisher – it was Unique, and Marley was covering for her. When Ryder was yelling at Marley in the hallway after quitting Glee club right before Regionals, Unique confessed. She tearfully explained she liked him and thought they had a real connection, but that she knew he would never be able to see beyond her body. She says she knows Ryder wants to punch her, but that she “doesn’t want to lose what we have.” Ryder replies: “I’m not going to punch you in the face. But I’m also not going to talk to you ever again.”

This is a tough one. I feel for Unique, obviously, but – like any good friend will tell you – you can’t lie to get a guy to like you. To actively deceive him for weeks – particularly after he made it clear that it really bothered him – isn’t the way to treat anyone and, regardless of how confused you may have been, doesn’t bode well for your friendship. I’ll be curious to see how this continues to play out next season. Right before the gang performed at Regionals, Ryder said he would rejoin the club because he was only mad at one person, not everyone, but informed Schu that he would be quitting the club after Regionals. Will Ryder leave the show? Immediately rejoin the club? I guess we’ll have to wait and see next fall, where the show will presumably pick up right where we left off.

NEXT: Will Blaine propose to Kurt?

Elsewhere in Lima (don’t worry – we’ll get to the Regional performances under Musical Grades!) Blaine was moving full speed ahead with his plan to propose (!) to Kurt, despite all advice to the contrary. Blaine went engagement ring shopping (with some last-minute help from Sam) and the sales lady at the ring shop turned out to be PATTY DUKE. And — one invitation for Kurt and Blaine to Breadstix later – we learn that Duke is in a relationship with MEREDITH BAXTER. And they’re wonderful. And then Duke – after talking about young couples needing role models and all they’ve seen in their lifetime – proposes to Baxter. Kurt and Blaine eat it up, but skeptics should note that when asked, Kurt quickly explained that he and Blaine weren’t together. Note to Blaine: While not a hard and fast rule, it’s generally best practice not to propose to someone you aren’t currently dating.

But Blaine doesn’t have any more time to worry about making lifelong commitments – he’s got a song to cover. We’re all down to a science about how these vocal competitions play out, and it’s more of what we normally have seen the past four seasons: One joke-y group, in this case the a cappella arrangement of “The Rainbow Connection,” one serious contender, in this case the HoosierDaddies, led by American Idol finalist Jessica Sanchez, and then McKinley High, who typically fall somewhere in between.

It’s a few moments of glorious competition – I certainly wouldn’t complain if we got to see more of Sanchez next season – and then it was time for the announcement. I don’t know if it was because it didn’t feel as high-stakes as Nationals last year or because I was more curious about all the other potential bombshells, Broadway and otherwise, going on, but McKinley High’s win felt a little anti-climactic, yes?

It must have been because we hadn’t gotten to the – surprise – biggest moment of the episode. Back in the choir room after the win, Emma had a little announcement of her own: She doesn’t do well with pressure or big crowds, but she and Will were going to get married, Right Here, Right Now (Sadly, the Glee kiddos didn’t break into this High School Musical classic). Upstaging high school kids at their own event – it was so cute. I’m just kidding, of course, although it was silly to see only the Glee clubbers attend the wedding. But it genuinely was a sweet moment a long time in the making to see Emma and Will officially say “I Do.”

And they might not be the only newlyweds for long – the episode ended a few seconds after Will and Emma’s big kiss, but the camera panned down to show Kurt and Blaine standing a few feet away – and Blaine had a ring box behind his back. The End!

NEXT: Regionals Musical Grades and Top Lines

Musical Grades:

“All or Nothing” (Original by GLEE): Marley’s original song made its debut and felt right at home among their other choices. Marley sounded lovely and while I didn’t love the tune as much as say, “Loser Like Me,” it’s still a nice treat when the show does original songs. And the tune helped them win Regionals, so what do I know? B+

“Charity” (Original by Zedd): Another of HoosierDaddies’ Regionals numbers. This fun spin on the tune was one of the more catchy moments of the night. B

“Hall of Fame” (Original by The Script feat. Will.I.am): The first of three songs McKinley performs, and my personal high point of their performance. It was a nice showcase for the group’s various talents — and I wanted to get up and dance, which is seemingly encouraged. A-

“I Love It” (Original by Icona Pop): The girls of McKinley take over this song for part of their Regionals performance. The energy was fantastic and this was definitely a high point of their winning performance. B+

“To Love You More” (Original by Celine Dion): Hello, showstopper. Even by Rachel Berry’s personal high standards on the show, this was a slam dunk. She left the judges speechless with her soaring voice that may have just landed her her dream come true. Worth noting: Lea Michele just announced on Twitter that this was one of her dream songs to sing. A

“Wings” (Original by Little Mix): We’re only just beginning to see what the HoosierDaddies can do, and although McKinley beat them, I hope we get to see more of them next season. This high energy number was one of the best tournament performances we’ve ever seen. (Another obvious tournament highlight? This first season brilliance. Side note/Fantasy wish: Can Jesse St. James come to New York next season? Please?)

Top Lines:

“It wasn’t until I walked in this room, and I joined this club, that I really started believing in myself.” –Brittany

“Lord Tubbington is a stickler for continuity in editorial.” –Brittany. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a Fondue for Two web series is a summer necessity! How do I start a petition?

“Are we sure it’s not just Britney 3.0 week?” –Santana

“Do you want to have kids or just continue having weirdly intimate relationships with high school students?” –Brittany cuts to the core of Will’s issues

“He wants to do me but we’re just friends” –Sam. Oh my gosh, you guys, I want it on a T-shirt. Not for myself, just to see it out and about.

“Are Joe and Sugar here?” –Will. Anyone’s guess! I barely remember what they look like anymore.

What did you think of Glee‘s fourth-season finale? What are your bets on Rachel’s Broadway audition? What about Blaine’s maybe proposal? Is this the last we’ll see of Brittany (and maybe Ryder!) for a bit? I want to hear your best guesses for where Joe and Sugar have been hiding — do you think it was with Lauren? Will we still get Fondue for Two updates with Brittany at college? So many questions — one long summer to debate them.

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