The Vampire Diaries recap: 'Handle With Care'

The good news: The race for the anchor was much shorter than the race for the cure. The bad news: Stefan got his memory back, and with it, the pain of months spent drowning in a safe. Amara, who turned out to be the anchor, drank the cure because she’d just spent 2,000 years desiccated in a box. She wants to die. Granted, there’s a difference between 2,000 years and one summer, but Stefan will be going through a form of PTSD now, too. I don’t want to lose the lightness that’s made this season’s scripts such a pleasure. Here’s hoping Stefan and “Crazy Pants” (Damon’s nickname for Amara) consider laughter through tears their favorite emotion.

I always write “Let’s dig in,” but that phrase is apropos this week: Katherine was about to dig into a large breakfast when the waitress told her that leaving the gray streak in her hair was a bold choice. I’m a little surprised Katherine didn’t kill the woman. Then again, now that she’s free to be whatever she wants to be, she doesn’t want to be incarcerated.

Damon and Elena were at Salvatore Mansion snuggling by the fire and debating how good a day it was about to be when Silas made his entrance. “Good morning, frenemies,” he said, ready to get his death on. Over at the cabin Tessa now calls home, Stefan awoke to a near-empty tequila bottle and Tessa bearing magical hangover berries. “Get up, gorgeous. Your doppelgänger dies today,” she told Stefan, having stolen a peek at his phone. Cut back to Team Silas: Elena wasn’t sure they could trust him to trade his life for Bonnie’s. “You’re kinda evil. No offense,” she said. None taken. He assured her that he was in: He just has to find the anchor, destroy it to destroy the other side, die, and finally be at peace. He knew roughly where the anchor was — in a stockyard in New Jersey (“Snooki’s backyard,” in Damon’s words). Silas was in such a great mood: When Jeremy appeared with his crossbow, Silas knew how excited Jeremy must be: “Didn’t you and the Bennett witch used to [click-click, whistle]?” he said. They were all on the same side for the moment, so Damon told Jeremy to “Put the damn crossbow down, Pocahontas.” All the doubting made Silas feel ganged up on. He’d hate to do something crazy, he said, like make a fiery jazz had. Seriously, Silas was loving his life: He feels like he’s constantly reinventing himself. “I’m like a supernatural Madonna, don’t you think?” (Or, at least as cocky as Kanye?)

Stefan was hating his life at that moment because Amara, who also seeks the anchor, wouldn’t tell him anything. He joked that he needed to be drunk to understand this story. Join the club! The Travelers have had possession of the anchor for 2,000 years and keep it moving so neither her nor Silas can find it. Silas didn’t want Elena to come along on the road trip to Jersey because he didn’t want to stare at a face that looks like Amara’s (shame you can’t relate, Damon), so she stayed behind and it was men only. When Tessa went to leave, confident she’d thought of every possibility for how the day could unfold, she couldn’t exit the cabin. She’d forgotten that she once taught Silas a spell to keep people stuck inside a location until sundown.

NEXT: Katherine goes to college

Katherine had somehow made her way to Elena and Caroline’s dorm room and dyed her hair. At first, Caroline didn’t realize it wasn’t Elena. But when Katherine wasn’t in a hurry to help pack up their belongings and heed Maxfield’s warning to leave before they were exposed as vampires, she got it. They struck a deal that actually made sense, though I’d never expect these two to work together: In exchange for housing and Elena’s meal card, she’d help Caroline manipulate Maxfield.

As Tessa, Janina Gavankar is getting much sassier material than she was given on True Blood. She answered Stefan’s phone when Elena called and commented on her whiny doppelgänger voice. “Between us girls, he works up quite the sweat,” she told Elena when she asked where Stefan was. Elena told Tessa to remind Stefan that Tessa was a crazy bitch. “I would, but I think that’s maybe his type,” she said. Down ladies!

Elena was concerned about why Stefan would be fraternizing with Tessa. When she phoned Damon and Silas made sure Damon told her about how he’d maybe kinda sorta snapped Stefan’s neck a couple of times, Elena was furious. Silas tried to lighten the mood with a knock, knock joke. “No one’s there because I killed the mayor,” was the punchline. “You’re a dick,” Jeremy surmised from the backseat.

Speaking of dicks: While Dr. Wes was dictating his findings on what I presume was Jesse’s cellular growth into a tape recorder, Caroline surprised him. Bigger surprise: Katherine injected him with something from behind. Meanwhile, Elena had gone to Tessa’s cabin to talk sense into Stefan, whom she assumed had slept with Tessa. Shocking twist: Stefan walked into the room post-shower WITH HIS SHIRT ALREADY ON. He was practically done buttoning it. Boo. Once (jealous?) Elena was informed that Stefan wasn’t sleeping with Tessa she tried to leave. Nope. She’s stuck inside, too. Commercial break. Pause as my colleague Samantha Highfill and I, watching together in the office, discussed which TVD set we’d want to visit given the opportunity. Damon’s bathroom topped both our lists. I would totally sneak something into the soap dish. She also wants to see if Elena’s bed is as comfortable as it looks.

As the boys made their way into a Jersey warehouse — quick trip! — Silas told Damon he didn’t know how he does it: Being there when Elena and Stefan are together. “It’s called being secure. I’m assuming you know a little bit about that by the way you wear your hair,” Damon cracked. Silas’ hair was looking particularly great this episode. Slight problem though: He knew the anchor was in this place, but he still wasn’t sure what it actually was. “It’s not gonna look like a freakin’ IKEA sink,” he told Damon. When did you guess what it’d be? Not yet for me.

NEXT: Katherine is awesome as ever

Katherine skillfully began draining Dr. Wes of vervain so Caroline could get some information out of him and make him forget that she and Elena are vamps. He said there’d be a gathering at Whitmore House that day of the people they need to convince. Good thing Katherine, who Dr. Wes believed was Elena, isn’t one.

I laughed out loud at naive Jeremy trying to tell Bonnie that if she believes the plan for Silas to bring her back to life can work, and he believes it can work, then it can work. No, Jeremy, you do need to factor Silas into that equation, and you can’t control him. I laughed again as he reminded us why they’re really doing this — so he can touch her.

The latest wrinkle in the plan: Tessa informed Damon that she’d purposely lured Elena to the cabin so she could use her as leverage. [Insert Elena getting a witch-induced migraine.] Tessa wanted Damon to kill Silas before he found the anchor. If he didn’t do it before sundown, she’d kill Elena. It might be cathartic, she said, because Elena has the same face as Amara. “Bye now!” Damon took his frustration out on a box.

Katherine showed up at Whitmore House looking demur and wearing a barrette in her hair. Dianne Freeman, the head of Whitmore security, who Elena had met the night Megan died, was surprised when Elena made it through the anti-vamp doorway. Aaron busted ravenous Katherine eating and pocketing sandwiches. “What? Are you the sandwich police?” she asked. He was trying to figure out why Dr. Wes had told him to stay away from Elena. “Are you part of the secret society?” Elena asked. “You know (wink), the society.” Maybe Aaron is really clueless. The conversation got cut short when Katherine lost a tooth. Awkward!

At the cabin, Tessa and Stefan were discussing pizza toppings when Elena explained why she was so upset: Damon’s never put anyone’s life before hers, so there’s no way he’ll spare Silas. Which means Bonnie’s not coming back. (Hooray! No, don’t get too excited.) Elena was right, of course. Damon told Jeremy operation Save Bonnie is off. Bonnie was cool with it, however.

Damon went inside to look for Silas and two Travelers spoke a foreign tongue that temporarily nullified Damon’s day ring. I was begging for Jeremy to break that up before the burns moved up the forearms to the biceps. The Travelers don’t want Silas dead — yet. Damon ripped out one’s heart and knifed the other.

Caroline, bless her heart, spaced while she was waiting for Dr. Wes to drain and almost bled him to death. Give her a break, Wes, she’s thinking of Tyler. Time for the interrogation: The society is called Augustine. Most recruits are legacies, but some are chosen for their extraordinary talent. His? The very vague “being brilliant.” It was “the Augustine vampire” who killed Megan — that’s why he covered it up. Caroline compelled him to forget that she and Elena were vamps. When Dianne paid him a visit to check on him and tell him he’d been wrong about Elena, he didn’t protest. (Wouldn’t the lack of memory tip them off that something had happened?)

NEXT: “I won’t let her hurt you, I promise”

Elena couldn’t hold it in any longer. She couldn’t stand to see Stefan and Tessa flirting while he cooked for her. Elena told Stefan that even if he can’t remember it, she does: Tessa isn’t the kind of person he’d like. When Tessa gave them some distance, Stefan whispered so only Elena would hear him. He told her he’s got this. “I know you think that I hate you, but I don’t,” he said. “I won’t let her hurt you, I promise.” Samantha and I swooned, paused, and rewound. At sundown, Stefan knifed Tessa and told Elena to run. Then he followed her.

At the warehouse, Damon told Jeremy to “man up.” He was back on the phone with Tessa: Why would the Travelers stop him from killing Silas? They want Silas’ blood because now it’s the cure. They’re not fans of immortality. She had to bind the other side to something 2,000 years ago. Something Silas would never want to destroy. Not his favorite childhood sled, Damon. Think about it. And Silas found it — Amara is the anchor. Qetsiyah never killed her. She just made Silas think she had and desiccated her. Silas fed Amara the one of the dead Traveler’s. We watched as she went from stone-like to flesh. She told Silas to go away and leave her alone. What hallucinations has she been seeing for 2,000 years? Alone later, having heard that he’d taken the cure, she knew what she had to do: Cut him with glass and drink him — she can’t live another day. Seeing Damon later, she asked him if he was real.

Katherine had gone back to see Dr. Wes after her tooth incident. She returned his tape recorder, which she’d listened to. Yep, Katherine is still out for herself. She threatened to out his work if he doesn’t figure out how to save her from dying. She can’t solve the mystery on her own. She told him she’s Katherine and Elena’s her doppelgänger.

Back at home, Elena thanked Stefan for being him, the man whose instincts were always to protect her. I thought the kindness of that conversation might worry Damon, but it didn’t. Either he is that secure, or he’s that drunk. Jeremy’s allowed to drink, too, after their failed rescue attempt. Damon told Elena they had to protect Amara now that she’s taken the cure and is human again. They do? Yep. “Elena, meet Crazy Pants. Crazy Pants, meet Elena,” he said. And scream, Crazy Pants.

One more twist: Tessa was not happy with Stefan. He offered to heal her from the knife wound, but she wants to keep it to remind her of how stupid she’d been to feel something for him. History repeated itself: She lost out to a doppelgänger. She wanted to make Stefan pay, so she gave back all his memories: Killing his dad, forcing Damon to become a vampire. And oh yes, his time in that watery grave, drowning again and again. Seeing him on the floor like that reminded me of when he was on the floor like that drinking blood bags like a dog or something at Klaus’ hand. We’re going to see a different Stefan now.

Will Silas brood over Amara? Will Damon be so worried about Stefan he can’t crack a joke? What’s Tessa’s next play? Do you understand what would happen if Silas did kill Amara now? Could they be together? Go!