- Robin Scherbatsky: I can't break 15 bricks with my forehead.
- Barney Stinson: Robin, it's not 1950 anymore. Yes, you can.
- Barney Stinson: That's what corporate America wants: people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.
- Barney Stinson: Lottery girl's on!
- Robin Scherbatsky: I just feel sorry for these women. This is where broadcast careers go to die.
- Barney Stinson: Check it out, I made a little game.
- Lottery Girl: And tonight's lotto numbers are: 19...
- Barney Stinson: Age you moved to New York after a photographer "discovered" you at a food court and said he would get you into Vogue Magazine.
- Lottery Girl: 53...
- Barney Stinson: Number of semi-nude pictures he took of you before you realized he had no connection to Vogue Magazine.
- Lottery Girl: 22...
- Barney Stinson: Age you claim you are.
- Lottery Girl: 31...
- Barney Stinson: Age you actually are.
- Lottery Girl: 45...
- Barney Stinson: Number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, out of your dress and into my Jacuzzi.
- Lottery Girl: And tonight's Super Big Ball is...
- Barney Stinson: What happens after we get out of the Jacuzzi. What Up!
- Barney Stinson: All my life I have dared to go past what is possible.
- Interviewer: To the impossible?
- Barney Stinson: Actually, past that. To the place where the possible and the impossible meet, to become... the possimpible.
- Lily Aldrin: [Sarcastic] The possimpible? Really?
- Barney Stinson: Inventing your own word shows creativity and vision-Visitivity.
- Ted Mosby: [Ted has a flashback about his old Wesleyan radio gig after Robin finds it in his resume] Doctor X here, shooting truth bullets at you from an undisclosed location, 'cause if they knew where I was, they'd shut me down
- Marshall Eriksen: [Listening with Lily at their dorm room] You're on the third floor of the Student Center next to the game room, you tool!
- Ted Mosby: Been reading a lot of letters about my segment on how racist this school's meal plan is.
- Lily Aldrin: How can there be any letters if no one knows where you are, douche?
- Ted Mosby: That's why I'm organizing a happening outside the Dining Hall. Monday, at midnight. Time has come that these puppet masters took this ignorance of justice off the menu.
- Student: [Cuts in during broadcast] Hey Ted, we need a fourth one for foosball. What are you doing here, anyway?
- Ted Mosby: Dude, get out of here, be there in a sec.
- [resumes Doctor X spiel]
- Ted Mosby: Remember, Dining Hall at midnight. Another Doctor X happening. I'll be there, 'cause X marks the spot-ot-ot-ot...
- Marshall Eriksen: [In present day] If you think people liked your show, they did not-ot-ot-ot...
- Lily Aldrin: [to Ted] Doctor X, you're still bragging about Doctor X?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Who's Doctor X?
- Ted Mosby: Nobody knows. He was this genius mystery DJ.
- Marshall Eriksen: It was Ted.
- Ted Mosby: [Ignoring Marshall] ... His identity remains a mystery to this day.
- Lily Aldrin: It was Ted.
- Ted Mosby: [Ignoring Lily as well] ... But this phantom of the airwaves changed the very face of college radio.
- Marshall Eriksen: It was Ted.
- Lily Aldrin: And your show sucked.
- [presses button to reveal lottery ball]
- Robin Scherbatsky: Tonight's lottery numbers are.
- Director: Say the line before you press the button.
- Producer: It builds the suspense.
- Director: Yeah, it builds the suspense.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Seventeen.
- Producer: Stop her! Why did she say it like that? It's like she's not even happy about the number 17 coming up. She just seems mean.
- Director: Yeah, she seems super mean. Try it again and be more wry.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Wry? About the number 17.
- Director: Wry, with a little bit of a...
- Producer: ...twinkle.
- Director: Yeah, twinkle.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [sexily] Seventeen.
- [producer shakes head 'no']
- Director: That was great. Thanks!
- Lily Aldrin: [the gang checks out Robin's fan mail from Metro News 1] Wow. You had more fans than I thought.
- Ted Mosby: And only about 60% of them are prison inmates.
- Robin Scherbatsky: What are these guys thinking? I am WAY past my "dating prisoners" phase. I mean, hello, I'm not 19 anymore.