Recently I got a message from a guy I’ve known for about 10 years. I mentored him at Magicdust. He was a design grad at the time, who went to on to successfully forge his career path in the digital media world in Europe.
The message said: Quick question I know you are the person to ask. I’m having some major anxiety and stress in my life at the moment… And I’m feeling lost.
His message inspired this post.
Firstly, a full hell yeah for naming it, and thank you for having the courage to reach out. It’s not really a quick question, nor warrants a quick answer, but here’s what I got.
Feeling Lost
It’s really important that you remember the inner journey is more important than the outer journey. Feeling lost is so real for so many people because we are trying to find our way through engaging in the outer journey only, as if that is the way, but on that road the thickets just keep getting more dense and more thorny, and we really just get more lost.
We all know by now, that life is going to suck at times, big time; and it’s not the fixing of the situation that is going to make us happy, it’s how we deal with the situation and what we can learn about ourselves in the process. So well done for having the altitude to see what thickets you are getting stuck in and figuring your way out of it.
It’s good to note that life is not meant to be perfect, it’s designed for us to grow. Inwardly. And it’s our attitude to the outer that can make all the difference. Life’s going to be stressful, painful and anxiety creating, until we learn how to do things differently, inwardly. Often the outer situation stays the same. We can change our point of view using various techniques, like healing our past, cleaning up our guilt and dishonesty, letting go, accepting things as they are, balancing our energy and more. This part is called the journey and is the transformation that happens inside.
Stress Hack For Right Now
Let’s talk about managing stress and anxiety on the fly; the easiest win is to learn to breathe. Breathing with awareness in any given moment is a powerful way to calm down, think straight and get some perspective on what is happening. There’s science to show how this works on the nervous system too.
PRACTICE: My fave breather is the five count square breath. Inhale for five counts, hold for five counts, exhale for five counts and hold out for five counts. Start by doing it for one minute, then build up to five minutes in a session. You can do this day or night, eyes open or closed, in any situation. After a stressful call, or before a big meeting. It’s a good little hack to get balanced.
Learning The Inner Journey
Then there is meditation. Meditation is a great place to start connecting with your inner self and learning about the inner journey you are actually on. The brilliant thing about this world (albeit totally painful at times), is that it is designed to wake us up, and guide us back on track no matter how lost we feel. There is no way you will be lost forever — it’s fail proof like that. Stress, anxiety, depression are the signs nature uses to tell us that we have inner work to do. Stress and anxiety can be handled with two great tools we already have access to: breathing and awareness. Growing is uncomfortable, that’s something to get comfortable with. Sure you can take pills and magic oil to calm down, but with all due respect, for most people it’s a trap if you are not transforming. It’s like if you are driving and leaning on the guard rails, the meds will stop the sparks from flying but you are still driving on the guard rails. You aren’t learning to stay on the road in your lane. The degree of pain and suck-iness you are feeling in any moment is a direct reflection of how out of balance you are. And that’s the good news, (high fives!) Because its information you can use to shift, heal and grow.
Meditate Don’t Medicate
PRACTICE: As a starting place I suggest using a meditation app — every day. One because, as a teacher, I am biased. And two because you need to do something everyday to support you make a change happen. It’s natural that we start paying attention to our mental fitness when things are not going too well. An app is friendly, accessible and simple, and usually takes a few minutes each day to start. Also seek out a natural health practitioner if you what to get holistic support for severe depression and anxiety. This is not medical advice just my opinion.
Waking Up
Handling stress and anxiety starts with making time to handle your energy and panic feelings so you can think clearly and make good decisions. Breathing, meditating, and keeping your body healthy is prime in having balanced high vibe energy. So do yoga, go running, swimming, surfing, or walking, and hold off on the coffee, sugar, weed and booze for a while. Also check your sexual energy and explore ways to get yourself balanced on all levels. Like I said stress and anxiety are a way that nature reminds us that we are out of balance and off track internally.
Really what is happening when you start to have the desire to clean up your stressed-out states, is that you are waking up. And that my friend, is an f’ing celebration.
Anything that brings you closer to you, imo is the best game in town. Cleaning up and waking up ain’t easy, but you may find it’s a journey worthy of your time.
Asking For Directions
PRACTICE: I love the book by Michael Singer, the Untethered Soul and his Sounds True video series called Living From A Place Of Surrender. It’s a great place to start learning more about the way our minds and emotions work. Educational support on the journey another important tool. It’s the philosophy part of waking up and growing up.
More Good News
So going back to the part where you are feeling lost. Another fist pump of radness. Brilliant! There is nothing more liberating than realising that you are not happy, perfect or found. I prefer to call you a seeker that this point.
You have begun to seek.
Something more, better, happier for yourself. You have realised that you are not home, so to speak; when we feel like we are not home, we feel lost. So this is actually really exciting, sure it’s scary, but you are not the first person to feel lost, and you won’t be the last. So welcome to the realm of the seeker. You are on time and the universe is glad you are here.
Make It A Mantra
My fave mantra in moments of lost-ness is to speak inwardly to my higher self and to nature with sincerity and humility as a seeker and say: Show me the way.
And then listen — and witness the world, and yourself and be guided by the information you get, and then verify it against your feelings of loving and joy, and check it out. Follow the love, and keep your eyes on the light.
Be An Inner Warrior
The seeker’s path is not easy, it’ll burn. But it’s a good burn, the burn of truth, of healing, purifying and strengthening. The path of seeking happiness in your outer journey, which may seem easy for some reason, eventually hurts more and leads to more dead ends; that is until you start to travel the inner journey. It may take you 20 days, or 20 years to make the shift, or 20 lifetimes, or 20,000 lifetimes. There is no judgment in nature, it’ll take as long as it takes, and time does not exist in the soul.
The shift is simply an eternal option that is available and that comes with free will. The destiny part of life is that you will find your way to your inner path, the free will part is you get to decide when. That is the path of the warrior.
Celebrate The Broken And Hug
So while you might feel stressed, anxious and lost, my sweet friend, you are doing great. Just asking the questions starts opening you to guidance, light and wisdom. It’s all inside you. And I get it, feeling lost is how I have felt most of my life, and it continues to be my driver and guide helping me find my way, my true way, to that which feels like home.
We need to clean up our excessive stress, anxiety, and unbalanced energy emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and sexually. And through that journey we get to take care of ourselves, know ourselves, we get to find our values, our mission and find our integrity, and then we can naturally share from a balanced state giving of the gifts we have been given.
Yes you can strive and push, but that is not sustainable ultimately. And that is following the outer journey which might bring you outer success, but it doesn’t make sense when the pursuit of that robs you of the inner promise of a peaceful and loving life on earth in this lifetime.
Peace begins with you. Inside you. Finding that peace is the reward of the inner journey. Sometime you have to realize what you don’t want in life, before you know what you do want.
Travel in light.
