This episode begins with voice over from our beloved Elijah Mikaelson. Elijah, the loyal and noble brother, is tasked to share his  perspective as we as viewers are reminded of the events that occurred during the backdoor pilot, while altogether assuming, we have never seen a episode of The Vampire Diaries.

“Over the course of my long life, I have come to believe, that we are bound forever to those with whom we share blood, and while we may not choose are family, that bond can be are greatest strength or our deepest regret. This unfortunate truth has haunted me for as long as I can recall.” Yep. That about sums Elijah up.

What we know of the series so far, is that a long time ago, the Mikaelson’s lived in New Orleans. How they’ve come and when, is answered in classic horror movie fashion.

About 300 years ago, acouple of gentlemen happened upon quite a sight. 

Lets go check out this creepy abandoned ship! Says one soon to be dead fellow.

That sounds perfectly reasonable and not at all life threatening!

Upon boarding, his other comrades began to be whooshed away while their screams echoed in the night.

Little to their dismay, it turned out the original family was on that ship. But what is the original family, you might ask? Well, Rebekah Mikaelson will tell you!

She gives the cliffnotes version: we are vampires, the original vampires, and the cast so far is, Elijah, my brother, and my other brothers in a box are Kol and Finn. Plus our half-brother Niklaus. There you have it! If you have never watched The Vampire Diaries then you can follow along from here.

Now in present day, it’s New Orleans like we all know and love. Elijah, in his classic attire of a flawlessly tailored suit, is found drinking at the bar Rousseau’s talking to the brave bartender, Cami. He begins to express to Cami the complications of having a brother like Klaus (being the murderous psychopath that he is), and that he has come to New Orleans out of obligation to help him. And Elijah continues to enlighten those who have never seen The Vampire Diaries by explaining the origin of Klaus Mikaelson.

“See, we don’t share the same father. Of course, that never bothered me, but my brother resents it deeply, he never felt like he belonged. All told, he has a long history of getting into trouble.” Yep. That about sums Klaus up.

Elijah then asks Cami where he can find the illusive Jane Anne Deveraoux. Cami points Elijah in the direction of a witch Sabine (of course, Cami doesn’t know that Sabine is a witch, because she is just a regular human). We first see Sabine taking on the role of the tour guide with the rad facial hair we saw in the backdoor pilot.

“Welcome to New Orleans, and the crown jewel of the Crescent City. The French Quarter– jazz and jambalaya, romance and poetry, not to mention the things that go bump in the night. Monsters that feed on human blood, vengeful spirits of the dead, and my personal favorite, the witches.”

Sabine recognizes Elijah as a original vampire and informs him that Jane Anne was killed by Marcel, and witches can no longer practice magic without punishment from the vampires. Elijah hides when Marcel and his crew take away the body of Jane Anne Deveraoux in order to convince Sophie, Jane Anne’s sister, to tell him why Klaus was looking for Jane Anne.

Elijah calls Rebekah to tell her about Marcel and his new position in New Orleans. But of course, he has to remind those who have never seen the backdoor pilot or The Vampire Diaries who Marcel is.

“Marcel, who Klaus sired and brought up beneath his own wing,” thank you Elijah, I almost forgot, “now rules a menagerie of savage vampires running wild, killing in public for any human to come upon, and witches are held in subjugation. I doubt Niklaus had any idea what he was walking into.” 

However, Rebekah has no sympathy for Klaus’s plight, seeing that he has daggered her repeatedly. Elijah reminds her of “always and forever,” and the fact that when there father chased them from the city she stuck by him. But it doesn’t work. 

Now we get to see what happened off screen during the backdoor pilot when Elijah was finding out why the witches lured Klaus into town. After Elijah finds Sophie, she takes him into the creepy cemetery and reveals Hayley, the werewolf girl who is impregnated by his brother.

“Oh, shit,” thought Elijah, “I didn’t see that one coming.”

Once Elijah and Hayley are alone together, Hayley voices her concern about how this can even be possible.

Well, I can show you Hayley! You see, as I vampire I can magically let you into my mind, I can share the thoughts and memories I want to show you. Know one knows why, but it can be quite useful when I’m reminding the audience of our troubled past.

“In the beginning, our family was human, 1,000 years ago now. Although our mother dabbled in the dark arts, we were largely just a family trying to survive a time when it was difficult to do so… and, for better or worse, we were happy. That is, however, until one night. Our youngest brother was killed by our villages greatest threat. Men that could transform themselves into wolves during a full moon. Our family was devastated, none more than Niklaus. Desperate to protect the rest of us, our father forced our mother to call upon her black magic in order to make us stronger. Thus, the first vampires were born, but with this speed, this strength, this immortality came a terrible hunger. No one felt this hunger more than Niklaus. When he killed for the first time, he knew what he truly was. He wasn’t just a vampire [he was also a werewolf, the curse isn’t activated until you take a life], Niklaus was a result of a indiscretion our mother had hidden from us all, an affair with a werewolf like yourself. Infuriated by this betrayal, my father forced our mother to cast a spell that would suppress Klaus’ werewolf side, denying him of any connection with his true self.” Woah. That was a long story.

“Your dad was a dick. I’m Hayley, by the way. You should probably know my name if your going to tell me your whole life story. I mean, I know yours. Your family is legendary. Your brother is a notorious psycho, who I slept with, classic me.” Oh wait Hayley! There is more to tell!

“Our father hunted him, hunted us for centuries. Every time we found a moment of happiness, we were forced to flee. Even here in New Orleans, where we were happiest of all. Not long after Niklaus broke the spell which prevented him from becoming a hybrid, he defeated our father. I thought this would make him happy. He was angrier than ever. I wonder if perhaps this baby might be a way for my brother to find happiness, a way to save him from himself.”

Then Elijah makes eye contact with the camera and winks.

No! Just kidding. But he should. He fulfilled his job in just one conversation with Hayley.

Anyways… Elijah leaves to bring Klaus to the creepy cemetery to inform him of his child. But, being Klaus…

DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL!

Elijah zooms off to convince his brother to help the witches so they can make a home for the child. He reminds his brother of “always and forever.” But it doesn’t work. 

“Oh, wait,” thought Elijah, “there is a fault in the witches logic that I have to go correct.” 

But when Elijah vamps back to the creepy cemetery, he finds out that Sophie is linked to Hayley. Which means no harm shall come to Sophie, or the baby and Hayley will suffer the same fate.

Meanwhile, Klaus is off at Marcel’s rave, getting Marcel pissed off and biting Thierry (Marcel’s right-hand man). However, we didn’t know in the backdoor pilot that Elijah was watching this incounter.

Now on to give Rebekah a update. Again, she couldn’t care less.

Ah, Marcel! We have been lacking in Marcel-Elijah interactions. Elijah and Marcel sit at a bar and negotiate. Klaus’s blood that would heal Thierry in exchange for Jane Anne Deveraoux’s body. Marcel agrees, and Elijah returns Jane Anne to Sophie as a sign of good faith.

Next we see drunken Klaus stumbling along a alleyway, and Elijah, again trying to convince him to care. However, Elijah gets rather frustrated with his brothers behavior and they have a vampiric-strengthened fight.

“You are beyond pathetic Elijah.”

“Well who is more pathetic, the one who seeks hope to make his family whole, or the coward who can only see the world through his own fear?” Wise words Elijah.

Elijah and Klaus come to an understanding after they talk and Elijah utters the words “always and forever.”

The next day, Hayley is released to Klaus and Elijah. For now, they are taking residence in an old plantation house. Elijah is kind to Hayley, and promises to always protect her. Do you feel the vibes through the screen? Because I do.

But there is still one lingering question, and its how does Marcel know when a witch is practicing magic? “Well, we’ll tell you!” Says The Originals writers from beyond our TVs. We see a young girl, in a attic practicing magic and talking to Marcel. We learn that she is the one who can sense it… its very Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

But now that Klaus has agreed to follow along with Sophie Deveraoux’s plan, what’s next? Well to Klaus, its time to dagger Elijah. I didn’t see that one coming.

And that was the official first episode of The Originals!

Power Rankings:

#5 goes to… The CITY OF NEW ORLEANS! 

For being a character all on its own.

#4 goes to… MARCEL GERARD!

For being badass.

#3 goes to… HAYLEY MARSHALL!

For being everyone’s favorite werewolf.

#2 goes to… SOPHIE DEVERAOUX!

For again, getting what you wanted and not taking no for an answer.

#1 goes to… ELIJAH MIKAELSON!

For believing in always and forever, and for inspiring us all.

To all those who haven’t made the list… until next time.