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Desperate Housewives
Never Judge a Lady by Her Lover

Original Air Date: Oct 11, 2009

Annette – Reviewer
annette@thetwocentscorp.com

Secrets! Lies! Secrets! Lies! I know this is standard for Wisteria Lane, but it seems like there are more than ever! Everyone is keeping something from someone else. Secret lovers, secret pregnancies, and secrets so deep we don’t even know about them yet. Read on to find out if we learn anything new this week.

While out to dinner with the family, Gaby runs into John, her ex-gardener/lover. He is now a successful restaurant owner and recently divorced. Gaby is obviously impressed and when she starts fluffing her hair, Carlos gets jealous. Ana applies to be a hostess at his restaurant, so John talks about it with Carlos to make sure it won’t be weird if he hires her. Carlos tests Gaby by asking her if it’s ok, when she tells him it’s not, he accuses her of being jealous.

Danny Bolen returns home after his night with cops. They were just questioning him, and found no reason to detain him, or so Bob explains to Susan when she starts flipping out. She starts stalking Danny and telling everyone in the neighborhood how dangerous he is, so now the Bolens are getting tons of hate calls. While Danny is helping a buddy work on his car, Susan confronts him about Julie. When he won’t talk, she starts lowering the jack of the car threatening to crush him. Angie runs out and threatens Susan with a baseball bat (and wrecking the friend’s car in the process).

During one of their rendezvous’, Karl asks Bree to go with him to Vegas. She rejects him, saying that he’s just a fun diversion and that romantic getaway weekends are for people in love. Karl seems hurt by this! He has feelings!

I apparently jumped to conclusions last week when I wrote that Lynette finally told her kids she was pregnant, because this week Lynette’s story opens with her and Tom telling them the happy news. Unfortunately, none of the kids find it so happy! The one twin gives a funny role reversal speech about his disappointment that they’re not using protection, Parker is just grossed out and Penny really doesn’t want any more brothers! Can’t say I blame her!

Bob is trying to defend Danny and when he asks the Bolens about their past, they won’t tell him anything. Danny tells Bob that the family has secrets but they’re not allowed to talk about them.

Orson and Bree go to a country club dance and see Karl there with a date. Candace was a former patient of Orson’s, so he invites them to sit at their table. While Orson dances with Candace, Bree confronts Karl. He tells her that since he’s just a diversion to her she has no right to tell him that he can’t go out with other women. To spoil their plans, Bree, in some sort of fit of insanity throws olive oil on the dance floor and Orson and Candace wipe out and Candace’s nose gets broken. Has Bree really sunk this low? Is the Bree we’ve come to know and love over the last five years? Little miss perfect housewife certainly seems to have gone off the deep end. Orson thinks Bree was jealous of his dancing with Candace and thinks she still cares about him. When he tells her that only a woman in love would do that Bree calls Karl and tells him that she wants to go to Vegas. I love how every time Orson tries to convince Bree that he’s going to make their marriage work, she uses the same excuse to run to Karl!

Carlos asks Lynette to be his senior VP and after he gives her a huge raise, Lynette accepts. The woman he was going to promote is pregnant and he doesn’t want a pregnant woman as his VP, so he decided to promote Lynette instead. She of course was trying to tell him that she’s pregnant, but when she hears this, decides to keep her mouth shut. First order of business is a client dinner. The new client owns a vineyard and brings a bottle of wine to show off (don’t restaurants take offense when people bring their own wine?). Tom starts creating distractions and downing all the wine that Lynette is being served and gets hammered. He almost, but not quite, spills the beans about the pregnancy.

At the same client dinner, Gaby shows up looking like a slob. Since they are at John’s restaurant (why would Carlos go there?), Gaby doesn’t want to get all dressed up because she doesn’t want Carlos to think that she’s doing it for John. She convinces Carlos that she no longer has feelings for him. But, when they get home from dinner, she pulls out some old pictures she had taken with John. So, does she still have feelings for him, or are the pictures just fond memories?

In the midst of all the pranks and hate calls that the Bolens are getting, we learn just a very little bit more about their secrets. Bolen is not their real name, and they’ve been moving around and changing their name a lot. Also, while Angie is having a heart to heart with Danny about where they keep their gun, she apologizes to him about his crappy childhood, and says that “if it weren’t for her, he could have had a normal childhood.”

The police have evidence that clears Danny – a shot on a security camera shows Danny sitting in the parking lot of the liquor store drinking for over an hour. Susan accepts that it wasn’t Danny and starts to feel bad about all the things she’s been saying to the neighbors. The next morning she finds that the Bolen’s yard has been trashed, so she goes to help Angie clean up to make amends.

So we did get more of Carlos this week, but no Katherine at all! What’s that all about? Admittedly, there was a lot going on in this episode without her, and it looks like she’ll be back next week. Anyone else think Susan should have spent less time stalking Danny and more time with Julie at the hospital? Anyone have any ideas about what’s up with the Bolens? Give me your Two Cents!

Lastly, and this is a little off topic, but does anyone else hate the Sprint Desperate Housewives commercials as much as I do?