photo: fx

Original Air Date: Oct 28, 2009

Tom R. – Sr. Staff Writer
tom@thetwocents.com

“The last thing we need around here is more parasites”
– Dr. Christian Troy

Sometimes I wonder if the writers know when an episode will air. It seems like they knew this would be the Halloween episode. It’s got a lot to do with masks and disguises, and one incredibly creepy scene with the most bizarre murder weapon in recent memory.

Two scenes stand out in terms of stylistic effect. One involves the returning Annie McNamara, whose iPod literally drowns out the dialogue of Sean and Teddy as they take the teenager out for lunch. The other is a montage of various characters putting on makeup, as Teddy removes all her disguises from her closet.

Brigette is a world traveler who is a borderline plastic surgery addict. She pays cash, which gets Christian’s attention, but insists on using leeches to accelerate the recovery process. The science is well covered in the episode, since leeches apparently have an anti-coagulant effect that thins the blood and helps the sutures heal. Brigette, unfortunately, recognizes Teddy, who has returned from an elopement with Sean. When Brigette calls Teddy “Dixie” (her murderous alter-ego), Teddy cannot let any secrets slip out. She disguises herself and pays a late night visit to Brigette, adding a blood thinner to her IV drip and administering an overdose of leeches. Luckily for Teddy, it’s no stretch for the staff to conclude that Brigette took the measures herself to speed up the recovery time.

Steve O’Brien has a consultation at the office. He is a heterosexual transvestite who fells he is not looking feminine enough. In addition, he knows that he cannot afford to be recognized if he goes out in public as “Modesty”. He asks Sean and Christian to create a mask for him to wear so he and his wife can enjoy nights on the town. When he talks about cross-dressing as a tool to help his marriage, Christian finds a way to plant a doubt in the relationship between Kimber and Mike. He tells Mike that Kimber loved it when he cross-dressed, and Mike should try it. This sets up the makeup scene, between Mike, O’Brien and Matt’s mime face.

Annie returns to Sean’s life. She is cold to Teddy, and has been bothered by the divorce. She refuses to eat, complaining of stomach pains, and has taken to wearing a hat constantly. Sean finally corners her and removes the hat, at which point she is forced to admit to a psychological compulsion, pulling out her hair. The neurosis gets stranger when Sean is forced to take her to the hospital. Examining her GI tract, the doctor finds that Annie has also been eating the hair she’s torn out, resulting in a hairball that can only be extracted surgically. Sworn to secrecy, Sean administers the procedure himself.

With Annie and Connor as the beneficiaries on Sean’s new insurance policy, Teddy decides that the thing for a new stepmom to do is to let them stay with their father. But as the episode ends, she looks in on Annie, and we can see the wheels turning in Teddy’s head. If this were Heroes, we’d hear a watch ticking.

What did you think? Is Sean right when he calls Kimber and Christian “two sides of the same person”? How long until there is a showdown between Christian and Michael? Is there a cable channel running Planet Terror? Post your comments below, or drop me a line at: tom@thetwocents.com .