photo: cw

Original Air Date: Apr 29, 2011

Meg – Staff Writer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

What the—? Did anyone see that ending coming? Once again, The Vampire Diaries ups the ante and completely changes the game. With the full moon rising in Mystic Falls, Elena prepares for what may be her last day alive. As we edge closer towards the season finale, tonight’s episode brings us death, near death, un-death, and one hell of a twist.

Damon’s Plan
In a total fan-service move, we kick off the episode with a shirtless Damon in bed. I am okay with this. He moseys down (clothed, sadly) to join Team Save Elena’s discussion on the impending ritual sacrifice. Elijah (who is woefully under-used this episode…) announces that Elena will be fine because Elijah has a magical elixir that he picked up 500 years ago that “possesses mystical properties.” Seriously? Deus ex elixir, much?

Elijah explains that Elena will drink the elixir, be drained of her blood by Klaus, and then be resuscitated. Great idea – really worked well for Juliet. While Elena seems fairly zen about her impending doom (she had the Kubler-Ross cliff notes, apparently), Damon is furious (we know this because he has an extra helping of the crazy eyes).

Then before anyone can really figure out what’s happening, Damon vamps out, cuts himself and starts shoving his blood into Elena’s mouth, forcing it down her throat. He tells her that now that she has vampire blood in her system, when she dies, she’ll come back as a vampire. Wow. What the hell is he thinking? You know what? I don’t care what he was thinking – even if he is desperate to save her life, even if he loves her, this is just so wrong. It’s not romantic– it’s brutish and ugly, and not a choice that he gets to make for her.

Stefan rescues Elena, but it’s too late. He and Damon fight and I’m pretty sure somebody actually growled. For his efforts, Stefan gates staked in the gut. Jenna – who has been hanging out in the house since joining the Mystic Falls Vampire Appreciation Society last episode – does a great job rolling with the punches here. I mean, I could barely deal with learning how to spell chrysanthemum correctly, I can’t imagine how Jenna is doing (Vampires are real! Your boyfriend was married to one! Who gave birth to your niece! Who’s the salami in a vampire love triangle sandwich! Also… werewolves!).

Elijah sums up the Damon-Elena situation far better than I could. He tells Damon, “you talk a good game, but you don’t actually know anything. She’ll never forgive you. And never for a vampire is a very long time.”

Elena’s Last Day
Since it’s his girlfriend’s last day alive, Stefan whisks Elena away to… go hiking? Really? Couldn’t have squeezed in some sexy time or even asked her what she felt like doing? What is it with these Salvatore boys making decisions for other people?!

Stefan and Elena climb a small mountain and talk about their feelings. It’s a lot of Stefan saying “I know how you feel. Tell me how you feel.” They finally talk about the giant (vampire) gorilla in the room – does Elena want to be a vampire? It’s refreshing that they aren’t all Bella and Edward about this. I like that Stefan is being patient and that they have a very honest talk about what it’s like to be a vampire (spoiler alert: nobody sparkles). Elena is refreshingly realistic. She’s 17- how can she possibly be expected to know what she wants for eternity? She collapses into Stefan’s arms, sobbing “I don’t want to be a vampire—I never wanted to be one.”

Nina Dobrev rocked this scene – I’ve never felt so much for Elena. Also – I couldn’t help but think about Katherine and the decisions she made that led her to become a vampire. It was never about her wanting to be a vampire, it was about wanting to survive, whatever the cost.

Back at the Salvatore mansion, Klaus comes to collect Elena. He’s a little too British for me, and I feel like he’s about to start offering cups of (vampire) tea. Elena and Stefan have a goodbye scene, but to be frank, it pales in comparison to their earlier conversation. They make out and Elena tells Stefan to close his eyes and the soundtrack really tries to make me feel something, but it just comes off as a little hammy and manipulative.

Klaus
I have this weird image of Klaus walking around with some sort of evil vampire overlord clipboard: “Vampire? Check! Wolf? Check! Moonstone? Check! Doppelganger? Pending…”

I read an interview with Joseph Morgan and I loved the way he described his approach to filming Klaus v. Damon scenes. He said that Damon is so frenetic and mobile, that whenever they’re in a scene together, Klaus tries to embody stillness. I could see that a little this episode, but I still want to feel a stronger sense of Klaus as an all-powerful original. I want him to think these Salvatore brothers are simpering whelps beneath his consideration.

Caroline and Tyler
While Bonnie is bizarrely MIA this episode, Klaus’ bevy of impossibly attractive magical minions are out in full force. One of the witches lands Mrs. Lockwood in the hospital after forcing her to leave a voicemail begging Tyler to come home from his vision quest or wherever the hell he’s been.

Tyler races to his mom’s bedside and awww… I’d forgotten how handsome he is (*fans self*). As if to point out the contrast, we cut immediately to oafish Matt at the grill. Caroline is happy and frustratingly oblivious to Matt’s charade. Although Sherriff Forbes seems sadly resigned to conspire against Caroline, it looks as though Matt’s attitude is shifting. He doesn’t understand how Caroline could be evil. Sherriff Forbes does her best to explain soulless bloodsucking fiends of the night and is practically drawing flowcharts for him. Matt blinks a lot.

Tyler explains to Caroline that Jules has been helping him “come to terms with what I am.” How? By sucking at life? By pouting excessively? What does Jules possibly bring to the table here? Illustrating my point, Jules shows up and bitches at him (I guess both literally and figuratively, in her case). Caroline runs into the two of them and is less than thrilled to discover that Tyler is BFF with the werewolf who caged, tortured and nearly murdered her. They don’t get to have much of a reunion chat because Klaus’ witch brigade shows up and mind-whammies them to the ground. Congratulations, Caroline and Tyler, you’re on the sacrificial chopping block tonight! I guess Klaus is not a Forwood shipper…

Caroline and Tyler wake up chained in one of those dungeon basements that are suspiciously common in Mystic Falls. Caroline figures this is a good time to talk about their relationship. Yes, I love these two together and yes, I’m happy they are having this overdue confessional, but—hello? IMPENDING RITUAL SACRIFICE.

Damon arrives to save the day and gets felled by sexy Maddox. Matt shows up and suddenly becomes kind of awesome (except for the part where he shots Maddox in the back. Not awesome). Damon, Tyler, Matt, and Caroline run off to go lock Tyler in a cellar, but not before Tyler starts to change and takes a hefty swipe at Damon.

Caroline and Tyler may be safe, but Klaus still has a backup werewolf and vampire in play. He’s got Jules (I told you Jules ruins everything!) locked up and wait – who is that other vampire? Elena is led by Klaus’ witch Greta through the forest where we see a body crumpled on the ground. It’s Jenna. And she’s Klaus’ new sacrificial vampire.

There was a lot of setup this episode, but I still liked it. I love love love the twist – so unexpected! But where the eff was Bonnie? Why wasn’t she in on any of these crazy missions? What are your predictions for the next two episodes? What are you hoping will happen? As a sidenote, I’m filing this post from the airport (hence it being a little rushed!) – I’ll be in the Sahel for two weeks. But since I am totally this show’s bitch (in a different way from Jules), I’ll do my best to watch and post from there. If bandwidth fails me, someone else will cover for me.