DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Revisited: The Art of Making Art

Previously on Desperate Housewives:

Gaby ran over a skank. Susan is trying to be a badass artist. They really want us to believe that Lynette and Tom are done.

The question every reluctantly separated couple must answer: Are we trying to get back together or are we trying to find a graceful way to end the marriage? Emotions are sure running high with Lynette and Tom's break up and now Lynette is hell-bent on getting layed before her ex.

Gaby is a horrible PTA leader. Shocker. Also, is it me or has she been talking about spa treatments every single episode?

Another my religion is in crisis desperate housewives subplot. I love these. Bree can't love her Jesus because of the accomplice to murder thing that everyone is so tizzied about. She needs a project.

Oh snap: Gorgeous nude model for Susan to paint. His body looks not unlike a GI Joe. If I may quote Susan: "Penis, penis, penis."

Aww. Carlos is brooding. Don't worry Gaby, I'm getting a little tired of the "dead guy angst" too. Uh oh, drinking problems ahead for Carlos! I hope Bree comes to his rescue because she totally knows what it's like. And maybe her alcoholic son who killed Carlos's mother could help out too!

Hot Aussie neighbor is going to help Bree get closer to god with his whole helping the homeless angle that he already tried with Rene. I would love to see a Bree vs. Vanessa Williams subplot; hopefully it will lead to that. Oh how cute, she's an ex gourmet chef in a soup kitchen! She's bout to make the soup kitchen a little more bitchin'! Classic Bree!

Gaby is about to make the PTA fabulous! She brought in personal masseuses for all the moms! But they are totally about to take advantage of her kind nature. And by kind I mean selfish, shallow, brattyness Seriously, can they please redeem Gaby soon?

Enter Vanessa Williams...and she's talking about gay porn! I just love her so much! Watch as she tears apart Lynette's online dating profile! Perfect. I seriously can't believe we went 7 seasons without Rene. Anyway so they are going to a bar together to meet guys.

We resume with a very naked Susan Cooking breakfast and somehow proving she's a real artist in the process. Mike is convinced that the class is helping his wife and gives her the support she needs. Lee knocks at the door and Susan decides it would be a fun idea to answer naked. But goodness! She exposes herself to his elderly mother-in-law! A hilarious set up/payoff...not really sure what drove her to do it but it's fine. Ok, bye Lee!

Bree's gourmet cooking is attracting all sorts of non-homeless people, including a college blogger who is totally putting Bree's cooking on the map! She was even retweeted 200 times! Mrs. Van de Kamp's catering is back (kind of).

Mike wants nothing to do with the murderous Carlos. Carlos is so going to turn to alcohol.

Susan is the only one naked in her art class. She is convinced the guy is out to get her so she quits. I wonder if her email just got lost and this is all just a huge misunderstanding.

Soup kitchen is in full gourmet mode. But now all of the cool people have driven the homeless away! Bree makes a beautiful speech to the wealthy people that inspires Aussie to use her for a political project.

"Norman Rockwell would walk down this street and say, ‘A little much'" said Susan's art teacher in regards to Wysteria Lane. Her college email wasn't set up! This guy is seeing right into Susan's core and actually telling her what we have been dying to say to her all of these years. He makes another quip about suburbia and leaves. This character is very good for Susan. I support him 100%.

The mothers turn against Gaby and she messes up one one's hair and calls them biotches. Meanwhile Carlos is drunk as a skunk! And he is supposed to drive!

Meanwhile at the singles bar, Vanessa looks so fabulous and you know what, Lynette looks awesome too. We find out Rene is official with Aussie, good news. She realizes that she really doesn't have to be there and leaves, but this is funny and fabulous so it's totally fine.

In a beautiful scene in which Carlos isn't able to be the perfect husband Gaby built up, the women put aside their problems and help Gaby. I was almost moved to tears by this display of female camaraderie.

Lynette is just spewing deal breakers at the bar: husband, children, sitter, it's just not her night. After a fiasco with a light up tie and a run in with one of her kid's friends, it is obviously time to go home. But behold, she makes a connection with a man she thought was valet. He has more than one child and is divorced: he is so perfect. Lynnette goes for the kiss and sparks fly; that is until the damn wedding ring gets in the way. Looks like their will be no sex with anyone who isn't Tom tonight, or possibly ever for Lynette.

Bree as a fervent politician? Sure, why not.

Final images time! We are all destined for certain roles. Susan is getting so much better at art. Lynette isn't getting over Tom anytime soon. Gaby now has to deal with Carlos's drinking. And Bree is going to build a project in the woods where that darn body is buried.

This was a fantastic episode! There was excellent dramedic writing in every subplot; most notably in Gaby's big scene with Carlos. Each character is finally being pushed to a point where they must change their longstanding flaws or suffer loneliness, depression, and incarceration. Things haven't been this desperate for the girls since the first season.

 

 

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