Sex and the City (TV Series)

Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys (1998)

Sarah Jessica Parker: Carrie Bradshaw

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miranda Hobbes : If he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less? That's the issue.

  Taxi Driver : [to Carrie]  No smoking in the cab.

  Carrie : Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.

  Samantha Jones : Front, back, who cares? A hole is a hole.

  Miranda Hobbes : Can I quote you?

  Samantha Jones : Don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door.

  Charlotte : I'm not a hole.

  Carrie : Honey, we know.

• [Charlotte is trying to decide whether to have anal sex with a man she's dating] 

  Miranda Hobbes : It all depends . How much do you like him?

  Charlotte : A lot.

  Miranda Hobbes : "Dating a few months until somebody better comes along a lot", or "marrying him and moving to the East Hampton" a lot?

  Charlotte : I don't know. I'm not sure.

  Miranda Hobbes : Well, you better get sure real quick.

  Charlotte : You're scaring me.

  Carrie : Don't scare her.

  Miranda Hobbes : It's all about control. If he goes up there, there's gonna be a shift in power. Either he'll have the upper hand or you will. Now there's a certain camp that believes whoever holds the dick, holds the power, but...

  [Cab Driver turns around] 

  Miranda Hobbes : Hello! You're driving! The question is...

• Samantha Jones : [on the phone]  I am so fucked.

  Carrie : What's wrong?

  Samantha Jones : No, I mean, literally. I have been fucked every way you can be fucked.

  Carrie : If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna have to charge you by the minute.

  [goes to a voiceover] 

  Carrie : As I searched for my morning Marlboro Light, Samantha proceed to give me a rundown of her night with Jon - no "H", no inhibitions.

  [voiceover ends] 

  Samantha Jones : We did with him on top. Me on top. Me on my side.

  Carrie : Him on his side?

  Samantha Jones : Oh, God, yes. On his back, on his side, on his face. Have you ever done that?

  Carrie : It's too early to remember.

  Samantha Jones : Well, do it immediately. It is fabulous. These guys in their twenties, they are up for anything. How did it go with uh, you and Sam?

  Carrie : We kissed.

  Samantha Jones : Just kissed?

  Carrie : No. We just kissed for five hours, - at the club, in front of the club, on the corner of the club. I forgot how much fun it is to just kiss, you know, even if I did only get two hours of sleep.

  Samantha Jones : I didn't sleep at all.

  Carrie : [narrating voiceover]  As Samantha went on about her sexual escapades, I glanced down at my arm. There it was in Bic blue. Twenty-something Sam's phone number. I had this sudden urge to call but I'd just left him. Hell, my lips were still swollen. Why this sudden craving? Are men in their twenties the new designer drug? Yes, Samantha, Miranda and I were all recreational users, but were we getting into something w couldn't handle? Okay, we were attracted to younger men for various reasons. But I couldn't help but wonder, what do they see in us?

• Carrie : Shouldn't we be dating men our own age?

  Miranda Hobbes : Good luck finding one. There are no available men in their thirties in New York. Giuliani had them removed along with the homeless.

  Carrie : So, then what's really going on here? I mean, is it younger, younger men feel safer?

  Miranda Hobbes : What's really going on here is sex. Good old-fashioned, eager to please, do what I tell you to, Eagle Scout sex.

  Carrie : Yeah, but I'm not having sex. It's a kissing thing.

  Miranda Hobbes : So, what's the big deal? It's just a fling. It's not like we're throwing out our schedules or anything.

• Mr. Big : Are you sure?

  Carrie : Abso-fucking-lutely!

• Carrie : [voice over narration]  Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte wondered when relationships had gotten so complicated. She yearned for the time when dinner was followed by dessert, not lubricant.

  Charlotte : I can't, Brian. I want to, but I can't. I mean, actually no, that's not true. I don't want to. Or maybe I do. I don't know what I want. But I'm afraid if I don't, you'll dump me. And if I do, then I'll be the up-the-butt girl. And I don't want to be the up-the-butt girl, because I mean... Men don't marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can't. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can't handle this right now.

• [last lines] 

  Carrie : [voice over narration]  As I walked away I had a thought, maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down, and sometimes, like now, they get you so high. Damn! It would have been so cool if I hadn't looked back.

• [first lines] 

  Carrie : [narrating voice over]  Once upon a time... in a kingdom faraway, a certain man and a slightly less certain woman kept bumping into one other. They seemed to meet everywhere. On street corners. At parties. It was almost as if they were dating accidentally. And then, after another chance meeting, at a wealthy lawyer's new son's rbis, they decided to pick a time to bump into each other on purpose.

• Carrie : Alright, so officially he's late.

  Charlotte : Who?

  Miranda Hobbes : Mr. Big, who else?

  Charlotte : Carrie, that's great! Is it a date?

  Carrie : No, he called it a "thing". He said, meet me... meet me for a drink "thing". He never used the "D" word.

  Charlotte : Well, "thing" is good. I mean, "thing" comes before date.

• [listens to a message from Big on her answering machine] 

  Carrie : Oh, something came up. He's not gonna meet me. Here, will you listen to this and tell me if you can figure out whether he's not meeting me as a date, or not meeting me as a friend?

  [Miranda takes the phone] 

  Miranda Hobbes : Alright.

  Carrie : [narrating voiceover]  Sometimes, you need a second opinion; with doctors, real estate... men!

  [to Miranda] 

  Carrie : Well?

  Miranda Hobbes : I have no idea. And I finished first in my litigation class.

• Mr. Big : I've been looking all over for you - here you are, holding a tongue.

  Carrie : Well, your message said you weren't coming.

  Mr. Big : I thought I said I'd try to make it for an hour.

  Carrie : Well, yeah, but then you said that...

  Mr. Big : What? What did I say?

  Carrie : Never mind, never mind. You're here, you have an hour. Let's have a drink.

  Mr. Big : Well, I was outside trying to get in for thirty minutes, and inside looking for you for twenty minutes, so that leaves me with just enough time to tell you that, I'm out of time. You have fun.

  Carrie : [narrating voice over]  Men in their forties are like The New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle. Tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you've got the right answer.

• Carrie : Well, I can't believe it. Same time, same place. Just you and me.

  Mr. Big : Well, sort of. Meet my friend, Jack.

  Carrie : Oh, hi, how are you?

  Mr. Marvelous : Marvelous. Going through my second divorce. The bitch is getting everything the first bitch didn't.

• Carrie : [voice over narration]  I decided, the only way to break free was to move from one addiction, to an even bigger one... shoes. A couple of blocks and way too much money later, I realized I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life. I had out-grown the boys of my past, and not quite grown into the men of my future.