- An outbreak of burglaries inspires Homer to lead a vigilante group.
- Springfield is hit by a spate of burglaries with the Simpsons among the victims. Wiggum is as useless as ever so Homer forms a vigilante posse,especially to guard a zirconia from the museum,having been been tipped off that it will be stolen. Needless to say Homer is as useless as Wiggum and the zirconia is stolen. However Grandpa catches the burglar,Molloy,a suave resident of the Retirement Castle,who returns the stolen goods but makes his escape from prison whilst sending the citizens on a wild goose chase for non-existent treasure.—don @ minifie-1
- The Simpson family wakes up to find numerous possessions gone, though part of a city-wide cat burglary! Such purloined items include Marge's necklace, and Lisa's saxophone.
The burglaries continue, and soon, a vigilante group is started by Homer, with recruits including Barney Gumble, Moe Sizlak, and Seymour Skinner. However, their methods don't bring them any closer to finding the culprit, and then end up abusing their powers as a vigilante group.
Homer eventually appears on Kent Brockman's news program Smartline, and the cat burglar calls in, telling how he intends to steal the World's Largest Cubic Zirconium from the Springfield Museum.
Homer claims he will make sure the cat burglar's plans fail, but he ends up drinking beer with some underage kids, and passing out, leaving the burglar to steal the item.
Salvation for Homer comes when Grandpa Simpson claims he thinks one of his retirement home buddies named Maloy is behind the thefts. Grandpa then recalls three things- Maloy wears sneakers (for sneaking!)
- The night of the museum burglary, Maloy climbed up the side of the building with a grappling hook.
- Maloy has the world's largest Cubic Zirconium on his coffee table at the Springfield Retirement Castle.
Homer then leads the townspeople to Maloy's place, and find what they are looking for. Maloy then gives back all the things he has stolen, and attempts to win over the crowd claiming that he is taken with the place...before Chief Wiggum arrests him for the thefts.
In the jail, Homer mocks Maloy for catching him, but Maloy tells Homer and the others that he has millions of dollars buried in Springfield, hidden "under a big 'T.'"
Maloy then gives specific instructions, and the entire town takes off to find the treasure. Digging under a T-shaped tree, they find a chest, that only contains a piece of paper. The paper claims that there is no treasure, and that Maloy has already escaped from jail by this time.
Even so, Mayor Quimby demands everyone keep digging, claiming they have to find something. However, many hours later, and several feet down, everyone realizes there isn't anything else down there.
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