- Susan gives birth; Bree and Katherine do some self-defense shooting; Kayla pushes her plan to destroy the Scavo family into full force.
- Susan finally gives birth to her new baby, and all of her friends on Wisteria Lane welcome the new addition to Susan and Mike's family. But Susan and Mike both begin to squabble about what to name their newborn son when Mike insists on naming him 'Maynerd' after his late grandfather, and Susan wants to name him 'Connor'. Meanwhile, Bree and Katherine do some self-defense shooting as the increasingly erratic Wayne escalated his stalking of her when he begins to suspect that Dylan is not their biological daughter. Gabrielle forms a strong bond with Ellie, who becomes suspicious that they know about her drug selling operation and that she may turn her into the police. Tom and Lee ask Katherine and Bree to cater to their 'commitment ceremony' for the upcoming weekend. Elsewhere, Orson continues hounding Bree, who regrets flirting with Reverend Green to keep Orson away. The evil Kayla pushes her plan to destroy the Scavo family into full force when she fabricates a story that Lynette is physically abusing her, and Kayla further uses her natural-born skill of lying and manipulation to even get Lynette arrested as well as play on Tom's sympathies by hiding behind her wicked smile. Also, Adam decides to follow Wayne to find out what he is up to, and he ends up as his captive.—Anonymous
- "Desperate Housewives" - "The Gun Song" - May 18, 2008
(Originally aired as hour 1 of the 2-hour Season Finale entitled "The Gun Song; Free. Shown on ABC's website as "The Gun Song, Free" - pt 1)
Previously on: Adam left Katherine; Wayne Davis returned and learned Dylan wasn't his daughter; Gaby and Carlos discovered that their tenant was a drug dealer; Bad seed Kayla drove Lynette over the edge and she slapped her.
We see Lynette holding a "World's Greatest Mother" mug as Mary Alice tells us that Lynette knew this was not true. In fact, she had done many things she hadn't been proud of -- like bribing Parker to eat his veggies, or lying to the twins that there was treasure under the weeds, or when she dosed the kids with cough syrup for a little peace of mind. But she didn't think of herself as the worst mother either so she's making Kayla waffles since they've been having troubles. There's a ring at the door and it's Child Protective Services who've heard there's been some abuse in the home. Lynette denies it, the CPS women say they have surveillance tape from the store when she slapped Kayla. She lets them in and Kayla slides around the door and gives her an evil smile.
Credits
Lynette is at the table looking miserable as Mary Alice tells us Lynette means "pretty one" in French; Katherine is Greek for purity; Gabrielle is Hebrew for "god is my strength"; Bree is Irish for power. Every name has a single, specific meaning. Which is why Mike and Susan are having trouble naming the baby. Mike likes Phillip. Susan likes Nathaniel. They go through Mike's list: Peyton, Mitchum, Lucas and Unitas. They're frustrated. Until they hear a page for Dr. Connor. They name him Connor.
The Solis' drug dealer tenant Ellie is off to the mall but Gaby begs off because she has a handyman doing some wiring. The handyman is actually a cop. They break into her room and he starts placing bugs. The cop wants to put them in all the rooms, Gaby isn't psyched about that. Gaby tries to defend her to the cop who calls her scum. Ellie comes back unexpectedly and Gaby jumps on the handyman to make it look like they were using Ellie's room for a fling. Ellie is freaked that they're in her room, not so much that Gaby is cheating on Carlos with the hefty handyman. Ellie kicks them out.
In church Bree is listening to a sermon as Orson files in behind Bree. He tries to offer her peace and she refuses it and tells him to stop stalking her. He says they're just running into each other. She points out that she saw him at the nail salon. He points out that there's nothing in the Bible that says a man can't enjoy a nice pedicure. Bree reiterates that it's over. Orson asks again what he can do to get past their issues.
In the Mayfair house Wayne walks in through the unlocked door and confronts her about Dylan's missing scar. Katherine notices he's drunk. He gets back to the scar. Katherine says she took her to a plastic surgeon. He thinks something is up, that it's not the same girl, either his child or Katherine's. He wants to do a DNA test on Katherine and as he's about to grab a piece of her hair Lee and Bob show up to ask for Katherine's help with their commitment ceremony... in five days, since their caterer canceled.
The psychologist Dr. Dolan is siting at the Scavo table apologizing saying he's bound by law to report abuse and says that CPS will interview the kids, their teachers, and maybe even some neighbors. Lynette freaks and says "god I could strangle that girl." Tom points out that that's not the best kind of language. Dolan says she has to remain calm or they could take all the kids. Kayla is listening around the corner as Tom and Lynette get pointers about what to do. Kayla goes in the bathroom and picks up the curling iron with an evil look.
At the gun range Bree and Katherine go over the menu for Bob and Lee's menu. Katherine admits that's she's been uneasy since Adam left and wanted to come to the gun range to reassure herself she could take on an intruder. Bree points out that if she really wants to be effective, Katherine should try hollow points.
In the hospital Susan dotes on Connor and Mike finds out that his grandfather died, and in his honor Mike wants to name the baby after him. His name: Maynard. Susan hates it. Mike loves it and is touched Susan will allow it. (She thought it was his other grandfather: James.)
Gaby is making Ellie lunch. Ellie is still mad at her. Ellie asks what Gaby sees in him. Gaby points out that he's a handyman. Ellie asks if she doesn't love Carlos. Gaby says Carlos is the love of her life but that sometimes a big, greasy, disgusting handyman really hits the spot.
Katherine comes home and the door is open, she goes for her gun and then Adam opens the door. Katherine is shocked. Dylan told Adam that Wayne is back. Adam says he may be done with Katherine but not Dylan. He offers to scare Wayne off. Katherine scoffs. Adam says they should take Dylan out of town. Katherine points out Dylan already nixed that. Adam says they can, essentially, just kidnap her by taking her on the trip he offered her for graduation and not coming back.
The girls come to see the baby, Susan drops the name bombshell. The ladies hate it. They call the name practically abusive. Bree also points out that Maynard is German and Delfino Italian and there isn't great history there. Susan doesn't think the WWII approach will work but agrees to try to talk to Mike.
When she gets home Lynette is arrested for "burning" Kayla with the curling iron. She's cuffed and taken away in front of her kids by a really bitchy cop. Kayla looks on, evilly, from the second floor.
At Scavos' Bree is meeting with the priest who has recently returned to her parish, and she seems to have asked him to speak at a senior's brunch. Bree is happy to have him and his more "muscular" brand of Christianity back. The priest thought of her too and is sorry to hear about Rex's passing but is pleased she married Orson. She admits it hasn't worked out. The priest is also divorced and is lonely. And clearly has it bad for Bree. Orson shows up and Bree tries to fake him out by taking the priest's hand. Orson sees this and takes the bait and departs.
The Scavos are in the police station working out Lynette's bail. She can't get within 500 feet of the house so she doesn't know where to go. Tom is being incredibly supportive. Lynette goes back to her cell as Tom works on getting the money. She points out on the way that he must see what Kayla has wrought and it's time for him to get off the fence in trying to protect her and the family, because it's clearly not working. She tells him he's got to do something now to fix it.
The priest drops off Bree and tries to hit on her and kiss her good night. He claims there's always been sexual tension between them. She tries to fight him off and hits him with the Bible. She tells him in no uncertain terms that she doesn't want him. He gets upset and kicks her out of the car.
In the Solis house Carlos spills some milk and Ellie helps him. He calls Gaby a saint for putting up with him. Ellie spills that Gaby ain't no saint. Carlos is waiting when Gaby gets home and calls her a whore. Gaby calls Ellie a snitch and tells him thanks for the heads up. He comes into the kitchen all "um, excuse me?" And she's all "duh, it was the cop." He doesn't believe her but says that he has to since he's blind.
Orson shows up at church and the priest has changed his sermon to talk about sexual promiscuity and hopes to unmask a redheaded harlot. Orson confronts the priest. The priest tells him too bad. Orson attacks him and the church overhears them arguing about Bree. Bree goes to run out of the church as Orson yells "I'm not going to let you publicly declare that Bree Hodge is a slut." The priest slugs Orson.
Susan is trying to get used to the name Maynard in the nursery. She goes to change the name on the birth certificate. The nurse says both parents have to sign. She appeals to the nurse. The nurse says rules are rules. She then leaves. Another nurse named Griselda takes over for her. Susan appeals to her.
Bree is at the hospital to see Orson. She softens seeing him in the hospital bed sleeping and asks the nurse to take excellent care of him since he's a good man.
In the Solis house Ellie confronts Gaby, and Gaby is mad that Ellie snitched. Ellie says she knows what cheating can do to people. Turns out Ellie's dad walked out on her and her mom. She says she had to do a bunch of stuff she wasn't proud of to survive. Ellie gets teary. The cops are listening in. Her big delivery shows up. The cops warn Gaby to get out. Gaby grabs Ellie and tells her to go out the back.
At Dylan's recital Adam teases Dylan with her graduation gift and tells her he hopes her passport is up to date.
Tom enters Kayla's room talking to Andrew on the phone. He sits down to help Kayla with a puzzle and confronts her about Lynette. Kayla says Lynette scares her. He explains that Lynette can't come home because of what Kayla did. Kayla wonders if she'll live in a hotel. Tom says this is her home. Kayla objects. Tom says they'll find Kayla a nice place to live. She admits to lying about everything and burning herself. He asks why. Kayla says she hates Lynette and that it's so much better when they're alone. She says she'll confess to everyone and asks if she can stay then. He says no since what she did was horrible and that he can't trust her anymore. She says she'll keep lying then. He picks up the phone and says "did you get all that Dr. Dolan?"
At Dylan's recital - she plays cello in a string quartet - Adam goes to stretch his legs during intermission. Wayne shows up and follows him out and claims he needs help with a nail in his tire. Wayne whacks Adam with the the lug nut remover thingy.
In the hospital Susan is packing up to go. The nurse shows up with a wheelchair with balloons saying "Bon Voyage Conner" and Mike is confused. She fesses up to hating the name Maynard and apologizes. Mike talks about all the great things his grandfather did: taking Mike in when his dad went to jail, starting the first integrated school; Mike doesn't want just a name for his son but something to live up to. Susan relents.
Kayla's grandparents show up to take her away. Tom talks to Kayla and says he's going to come and visit her all the time. She's silent. Lynette apologizes for how everything turned out. Kayla doesn't believe her. Tom says he loves her and she's off. She cries out the back window, apologizing. He glares at Lynette. (Although really, this isn't her fault).
Mary Alice is back to tell us that in names - the labels we attach to people - tell us everything we need to know (as we see Susan paint Maynard's name on his nursery wall as Mike cradles the baby); If we say she's just a child does this mean she's truly innocent? (as we see Kayla ride in the back seat); Does calling her a drug dealer prove she's purely evil? (as we see Ellie wander the streets coat-less and crying); Will a man known as preacher always practice what he preaches (as we see the priest ponder in his study); Can a man branded a villain possess the qualities of a hero? (as we see Orson look at a picture of himself and Bree); The truth is a name can never really tell you who someone is (as we see Wayne throw water in the face of Adam who is tied to a chair). He says "I'm Wayne Davis we're about to have some fun."
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