S2E18 - “Jones”

We’re in New Orleans! And it’s Hurricane Katrina baby. Like, mid Hurricane Katrina. Like, Katrina is Katrina-ing. Anyways, we see a man in his house while the hurricane is raging outside, and it looks like he’s been investigating something. There’s a corkboard with pictures of dead people and maps on it, files everywhere, etc. William LaMontagne is on the phone with his son, trying to pack up some of the paperwork around the room. His son warns him to get out of the house.

 And then WLM is murdered by glass. By that I mean the Hurricane. A tree crashes through his window and glass goes flying everywhere. As he’s on the floor dying, he takes a piece of broken glass, and begins to carve something into a piece of furniture. We see him carve a J (hmmm… could be for Jones??) before the camera cuts away. 

Cut to present day! We’re in Quantico VA. JJ is introducing the team to a new case, a serial killer in New Orleans who killed at least three men pre-Katrina. After the storm, the NO police department thought the killer died in the storm, but a fourth body was discovered in the French Quarter last night. The fourth body has the same MO as the previous victims- throat cut and the body was eviscerated. Pre-Katrina, this unsub was sending letters to the lead investigator on the case, WLM (who we saw in the flashback). Since WLM died, his son (who we heard in the flashback) “Billy” is now on the case. The unsub sent a new letter to WLM, not knowing that he had died, and the unsub is now claiming this recent victim as his own. The case is further complicated by the fact that all the original case records, witness statements, autopsy reports, DNA etc, were washed away by Katrina. So NO needs the BAU’s help!

Cut to the BAU on their private jet (hey girl). We learn that Reid’s childhood friend, Ethan, has relocated to NO. Apparently Ethan also wanted to join the FBI, but backed out at the last minute. The BAU discusses the large amount of time between kills (possibly the unsub was in jail) and tries to pinpoint the victimology (but there aren’t similarities between the victims).

Cut to NO and we meet WLMJ- or Bill. This is it. This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Now get ready for me to never shut the fuck up about this. Also sorry if this is a spoiler but at this point this episode has been out for 14 years so it’s not my fault if you haven’t seen it!! The BAU arrives at the crime scene and JJ introduces herself to him. He goes: “Well, ok, then. I pictured you different.” Be still, my loins.

Cut to a coroner looking over a body. He says: “Four layers of fatty tissue sliced through like butter.” The cuts on the body are methodical and with no hesitation marks, leading the coroner to deduce that the unsub must have some medical knowledge.

Cut back to the scene of the latest crime. The BAU wants to talk details and Bill is just talking about po boys. Mandy finally has to be like – glad you like po boys but is there anything else we should know about the case? And that’s when Bill takes them to his father’s house (which has since become abandoned and is in disrepair) and shows them the carving his father made as he was dying. And yes it does say “Jones”. There’s a serial killer on the lose and Bill did literally ask the BAU to come help, and yet he’s feeling emotional and talking about all the good times he had in his family house. He says “I learned how to play the drums in this house” because OF COURSE he’s a drummer. “I grew up with two dogs in this house. All it’s gonna be now is the word ‘Jones’ carved into that wall.” JJ is like: “Are you okay?” And Bill is like “Yeah. I just don’t wanna disappoint him.”

Back at NO headquarters, Hotch, Reid and Emily read the unsubs’ latest letter. “I’m back with a vengeance, I wanted you to know. The last guy made it easy, being out so late, stumbling home drunk. I enjoyed slicing around his organs. I thought about sending you one. He was asking to be ripped, don’t you think, boss? Yours truly.”

Reid and Emily argue about the profile. Reid thinks the unsub is a sexual sadist. Emily thinks the unsub is a homosexual, stabbing because he needs violence for arousal. All of a sudden Reid realizes that no, actually, the unsub is impersonating Jack the Ripper. Yes, I know, as if this episode could get any wilder. As this is happening, we see the unsub murder another victim.

PROFILE - JACK THE RIPPER WANNABE

  • Friendly, agile, dresses impeccably

  • Between 30-35

  • Suffers from low self-esteem / Murdering men to reclaim his power

  • Organized and calculating

  • This killer identifies with Jack the Ripper because he’s lost his own identity (possibly through years of child abuse)

  • Because he over compensates to hide his insecurities, he may have a position of authority at work

  • He may have medical training (EMTs, doctors, veterinarians)

Meanwhile, Garcia, working of the JTR wannabe theory, finds a murder case in Gavelston Texas where a body was found missing a kidney. The victim, Leonard ??? relocated from NO due to Katrina, so everything is lining up. We learn that JTR took one of his victims’ kidneys. Also while Garcia is telling us this she’s picking lo mein out of her boobs with chopsticks. Gideon tells Emily to get Reid and Morgan and fly the jet to Texas cause we wasting EXTRA tax pay $$ today baby.

We see a man walking and hear creepy music, but don’t worry, it’s only Reid’s friend Ethan. AND HE’S PLAYED BY BILLY WALSH FROM ENTOURAGE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY HE’S IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE SKETCHES OF ALL TIME – “THE DAY ROBERT PALINS MURDERED ME” FROM I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE. We will link it in the notes, please watch it and better yet watch the entire show it makes me piss my pants.

Ethan tells Reid that the reason he dropped out of the FBI academy was because he had his own demons. “Those days I did prefer Jack Daniels to Jeff Dahmer.” Who the FUCK wrote this? I can’t handle this dialogue. Emily keeps trying to call Reid, and he keeps hanging up on her. Ethan calls Reid out for being on something, and says: “You’re surrounded by some of the best minds in the world, and if you think they don’t notice. Well, for a genius, that’s just dumb.” Anyways, Morgan and Emily take off for Texas without Reid.

Cut to JJ and Bill at a bar discussing the case. But… really it just looks like they’re on a date? ANYWAYS back to the serial killer. Cut to Morgan and Emily in Texas. They meet with Leonard’s fiancé. We learn that her fiancé was bar hopping for his bachelor party the night he was killed. Morgan and Emily make the connection that the last two victims were also bar hopping. Morgan says: “There’s only one thing that’s gonna make a straight man leave his friends on a guy’s night out.” YOU GUYS! THE UNSUB IS A CHICK! CRIMINAL MINDS SAID FEMINISM.

Back in NO, JJ and Bill get into a little lover’s spat. JJ wants a press conference to alert the public that the serial killer is a wemon. Bill doesn’t want mass hysteria, NO is just starting to recover from Katrina. But JJ is like, we’re doing this. And he’s like OK. We love a submissive! Morgan and Emily are back from TX and they’re pissed at Reid. And another body is found is corridor. This latest victim’s ear has been removed, and Reid says that the unsub is sticking to the JTR paradigm. The day JTR cut the ear off his victim, he also took a second life. So now the BAU is on a time crunch, knowing that the unsub will likely strike again.

PROFILE - FEMALE SERIAL KILLERS

  • 2 types

    • The Sante Kimes model – cold, calculated, preys on men for money, and takes her tie building relationships.

    • Aileen Wuornos archetype – motivated by paranoia and fear, luring men with sex.

Not to be a feminist drag, but I hate how we’re reducing female serial killers to two categories, while male serial killers literally have so many categories we can’t keep them straight? It’d be like if we reduced all male serial killers to either the Ted Bundy model or the BTK archetype. Also Aileen Wuornos was motivated by revenge and is better classified as a vigilante.

Anyhoo, the unsub has left another note. “Dear Boss. By now I have rid the world of one more. So many men, so little time. I hope you don’t mind the mess. They make it so easy, I just can’t help myself. Yours truly.”

We can see that she’s voluptuous and wearing a skin-tight red shirt. Yes queen. The BAU scope out the French Quarter looking for the unsub. Instead of trying to narrow down the profile using Garcia’s abilities, they’ve decided to just look around and try to spot a sexy woman who is on her own. The teams are: Morgan and Reid, Gideon and Emily, and JJ and Bill of course. JJ is like – I just don’t understand why these men would just follow a strange woman into an alleyway. And Bill is like- “Testosterone will follow a woman to Thailand.”

We watch the unsub bump into a man, and he tells her he’ll buy her a drink to make up for it. Anyways she kills him. Bill is DISTRAUGHT. Also the unsub has now killed – 8 men? The unsub has stuck a note down the throat of Man in a baseball hat. It says: “Dear boss. He wanted it, with that sharp tongue and vulgar hand. Thought you’d like to know another will soon get what he deserves. Yours truly.” Reid notes that it’s strange that the letters are still being address to Bill’s father WLM Sr. He points out that most serial killers write letters to be heard and to gain fame. JTR himself even wrote letters bragging about how he wasn’t caught. “This unsub isn’t using correspondence to flaunt her latest to kill, only to explain why she did it.”

FINALLY the BAU realizes that the unsub is a vigilante. We last saw a vigilante in Season 1, Episode 17 “A Real Rain”. This was the profile we had at that time.

PROFILE - Vigilante

  • Serial vigilantes are extremely rare

  • The exaggerated drama of these killings suggest that they are personal

  • Displays a heightened sense of right and wrong

  • He or someone close to him is likely the victim of a violent crime

  • His first killing was possibly against his original attacker

  • And since this initial killing he has developed an overblown sense of justice to justify that killing to himself

  • Might work in and around the criminal justice system (bailiff, lawyer, judge)

  • Is a cog in the machine (overworked and undervalued)

  • Will feed off public fear and media attention

FURTHERMORE the BAU realizes that the unsub may have had a personal connection with Bill’s father. We learn that WLM Sr worked in sex crimes, and the language used by the unsub mirrors what a rapist might write. Katrina’s gonna Katrina, so the sex crimes unit’s files were also washed away. However, WLM Sr had a partner named Smitty who may have an answer for them However, WLM sr and Smitty had a falling out that was so bad that Smitty never went to WLM Sr’s funeral. Will he help them??

Before we find that out, Bill notices the bar stamp on the latest victim’s hand. He realizes that is is admittance to the Mon Cherie, a bar in the French Quarter. 9 years ago it was called Jones!!! So now the BAU is looking for a rape at the bar called Jones 9 years ago. 

Hold on gang. We’re almost there. I know there are a lot of names. The BAU (and Bill) meet Smitty at the bar formerly known as Jones. Smitty is pissed. He tells the BAU (and Bill) that the case they’re talking about was the reason Smitty and WLM Sr stopped talking. He tells the BAU that he did not believe the girl in question was actually raped, and that WLM sr tried to get him sanctioned for his conduct during the case, but that the brass backed Smitty up and believed him. Smitty tells the BAU that they transferred WLM out of sex crimes to “shut him up”.

Basically, TRIGGER WARNING, the girl was gang raped. Smitty says: “That girl was a tease, she was looking for a good time” and fucking victim blames. According to Smitty- if you flash tiddies during Mardi Gras you get a garish fake bead necklace?? And because the girl had lots of necklaces, she was asking for it? First of all, there’s no shame in showing tiddies. But also, maybe the girl just liked ugly necklaces??? The whole situation is just awful. Smitty SUCKS! Apparently the girl wanted to press charges, but Smitty knew one of the rapists, so he made the whole thing go away. So in reality- Smitty is the trigger!!

We learn that the unsub is Sarah Danlin. She was a med student at Tulane. The BAU storms her apartment, but she’s not there. Cut to Sarah Danlin. She brings a man back to an unspecified location, ties him to her bed, and begins to torture him. Reid tells the BAU that the some JTR theorists believe that his last victim was killed in a room he rented for the night. The BAU find that Sarah’s card was used to reserve a room at the Royal Ruby Inn.

The BAU finds Sarah and John just in time. Sarah wants the BAU to kill them. She says: “What are you waiting for? Be such a shame to waste this. Do you want it, too?” And Morgan says: “What I want is for you to put that knife down.” But Sarah doesn’t seem to care. Bill gets in the middle of everyone and introduces himself to Sarah. He tells her that his father was killed in the storm. Sarah starts crying, Bill starts crying, I’m crying, we’re all crying. Anyway. Bill saves the day!

We close with Reid watching his friend Ethan play piano in a bar. Gideon comes in and sits down next to Reid. Reid admits to Gideon that he missed the plane on purpose and tells Gideon that he’s struggling. Gideon reassures him. “I have been playing at this job in one way or another for almost 30 years. I’ve felt lost. I’ve felt great. I have felt scared, sick, and insane. I don’t know. I guess the day this job stops gnawing at your soul. Hands… your hands stop feeling cold. Maybe that’s the time to leave.” Reid says he’ll never miss another plane again.

Rating Criteria (out of 20) 

  • Criminal/Serial Killer: 20/20

  • Character development/ character arcs: 20/20

  • Forensics/Context: 20/20

  • Script writing: 18/20

  • Background characters: 20/20

Overall: 98/100

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S2E19 - “Ashes and Dust”

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S2E17 - “Distress”